2020. What a year huh? January started with Australian bush fires, a drone attack that had us fearing WWIII, the Impeachment trial of US President Donald Trump, Brexit, Libyan Civil War, the eruption of the Taal volcano, and the beginnings of what would be called the Covid-19 Pandemic which would infect over 60 million people and kill over 1 million people worldwide. The months that followed brought us global stock market crashes, multiple oil spills, Ebola, worldwide protests, an explosion in Lebanon, murder hornets, locusts, and the FinCEN files. But that’s not all! Also, flooding, earthquakes, hurricanes, and here in the United States, more fires, a derecho, and a Saharan dust storm. This year has taken some of our (my) favorite people: Kobe Bryant, Mary Higgins Clark, Kenny Rogers, John Prine, Chadwick Boseman, Sean Connery, Alex Trebek, the Notorious RBG, and Grandma. There is no way that this list of horrible events and losses could ever be complete here; there’s just too much. 2020 also took our joy. This year robbed us of our celebrations: birthdays, anniversaries, retirement parties, graduations, spring breaks, and holidays from St. Patrick’s Day through Christmas. Through hard times, humans instinctively gather together. But in this year of tragedy, even gathering was forbidden. We could not physically morn our losses with those we most care for because of the risks of infection. So, what do we do? How can we move forward? How can we find joy or plan for an uncertain future?
As the saying goes “the first step is to admit you have a problem”. It’s okay to acknowledge that this year has been rough. It’s okay to mourn the losses. It’s okay to be sad, or mad, or anxious, or alone. It’s okay to just sit in the mud for a while. It’s also important to remember that sitting in the mud for too long could give you a rash, or E. coli, or listeriosis. Don’t forget to stand up and clean off once in a while. Sometimes the mud is so deep and thick and gooey it feels like quicksand. Sometimes we can’t stand up without tools or help. Ask for help when you need it—from a friend, a therapist, a pet, or a goofy Tiktok.
“We can acknowledge the bad things, and feel them, while also appreciating the good.”
It’s also important to recognize the good happening around us. Remember in January when scientist discovered that new planet? That was fun. In February, Luxembourg made public transit free. What an excellent step forward for equity and the environment—Good job Luxembourg! In April, the Pentagon released UFO videos. Remember that? Moulder and Scully are smiling somewhere in syndication. Costa Rica legalized same sex marriages this year! Africa was declared Polio-free!
Good things and bad things always come at us together; that’s just part of life. But sometimes the bad things must happen first to make the good things possible. Remember March? It seems like eons ago. When the pandemic was just starting to take off here in the US, some people were worried and some weren’t, but some took action. Factories and companies halted production of their own products to help produce face shields and ventilator parts. Neighbors were grocery shopping for each other. Baking really took off. That may seem like it’s not connected, but as a baker myself, I can tell you the best part about baking is sharing the goods with others. People were baking to stave off boredom, but also to deliver handmade items to friends, family, and neighbors they couldn’t see in person—to share love.
George Floyd was murdered. Ahmed Arbery was murdered. Breonna Taylor was murdered. Jacob Blake was murdered. They were not the only ones. Their deaths and others were tragic. Their deaths, and others, caused an uproar. People came together to protest, to make their voices heard. Their voices were heard around the world. Reform doesn’t come quickly but attention was brought to this problem and real, systemic changes are being discussed. Solutions are being sought. Communities have come together to seek and make change.
We have to come together in our own lives as well. As humans, we need each other, and we need hope. As it becomes increasingly clear that we may never return to “life as normal”, we have the opportunity to design our own new “normal”. This can be scary, it can cause anxiety, but it can also bring hope and joy. It is important to realize that bad and good coexist. We as humans are complex. We can acknowledge the bad things, and feel them, while also appreciating the good. The bad things can lead to creativity, innovation, and empathy. The good things can empower us to fight harder against the bad and energize us for the battles.
So, how do we make plans for an uncertain future? We recognize in ourselves and those around us the strengths that have picked us up out of the mud. We look for the joy and make our goals reflect our own values and perceptions of good. We can plan for the next time we are feeling beat up by the world by identifying ways we have dealt with this feeling before. We can plan to help others with these same feelings. We can plan to really care for ourselves. For some this could mean exercising or enjoying a hobby. It could mean weekly virtual happy hours with family or friends. It could be reading a good book, watching a great show, or trying a new shampoo. It could also mean embracing ourselves as we are. Forgiving ourselves, our downfalls and cutting ourselves some slack if there are dust bunnies behind the refrigerator or we didn’t get that job. The dust bunnies will still be there tomorrow, and another job will come along.
We can also plan big plans. How can we as leaders and as fellow humans plan to help others suck in the mud? We can plan for change. We can plan for the world to be different. We can anticipate needs and come together to meet those needs. We can recognize and acknowledge challenges and make plans to overcome.